Today's Gratitude List

8.03am Sunday

Thank you dear life for another day

Thank you Autumn, your fog that hovers

Thank you morning, your streaming light

Thank you cold, your under bite exhilarates

Thank you bike, with you I glide

Thank you gravity, you keep me grounded

Thank you dreams, without you I'm a goner

Thank you faith, why I stay

Thank you time, for bamboozlement

Thank you stone, your smell a constant reminder

Thank you camera, chamber of beauty

Thank you vision, you keep me moving

Thank you everything i cannot see.

Not having Kittens

L came out after I did.
Well, I'm the oldest, so it goes without saying really.
L came out after I did.
Thing is though, L was a girl as a girl, and I was a tomboy as a girl. So years later, when Mum commented on how 'unnatural' it was for two teenage girls (M and me), to be lying in bed together at eleven in the morning, she already knew the word 'unnatural' was merely a palatable replacement for the word lesbian.



I left home shortly after that, to escape the increasingly heavy iron fist of my dad, and to pursue my lust for all things lesbian. A wee while after I left home, my sister was given an ultimatum by my Dad on his discovery of a sports bag containing dildos, strap-ons and several thumbed explicit queer magazines found not-so-firmly stashed in L's closet. The ultimatum was this;
'IF YOU WANT TO LIVE UNDER MY ROOF,
YOU WILL ABIDE BY MY RULES.'
With that, L left.
She was fifteen.



Turned out the stuff didn't even belong to L, she was merely minding it for a friend, who was not a lesbian, but a homosexual. Which is by-the-by and neither here nor there. Still, the exposure was glaring, and she had now entered the fold.
A self confessed lezzo.
Several'same sex' relationships, houses, dogs, cats, kittens, cars, biscuits and cups o tea later, L jumped the fence for a Mister MacDonald from Oz. Oz came to Scotland. L got knocked-up, then hitched-up. Her baby due to arrive on June 27th.
I wish you well my lovely L
and can hardly believe what is happening,
but believe it never-the-less.

what on earth is going on now?

I no longer understand anything at all.

breathing pictures

press play,
rest on your laurels,
be still,
absorb,
let things unfold.

Throw Like A Girl-tomboy take 2

Does becoming a woman retain the belief in a ‘mimetic relation of gender to sex whereby gender mirrors sex or is restricted by it?’ (J.Butler 1990).

What does it mean to be a woman?

It seems to me, to be inexplicable, when I ask myself the question: What does it mean to be a woman?
And if in accordance to Simone de‘Beauvior;
‘one is not born a woman, but rather, becomes one’
How, does one become one?

What does it mean to be a woman?

What is a woman?
Is there a fixed template on becoming one?
Does becoming a woman differentiate geographically?
Is it culturally constructed?

What does it mean to be a woman?

How do we read, woman?
What are the signs,codes?
Are there signs, codes?
How does one recognise, whether one has become one; or not?


What does it mean to be a woman?

Does one need to have a point of departure, for example; after being born a person, does ones biological and chromosomal arrangement hold sway on whether becoming a woman is a viable option?
Is there an option?
If so, is it viable?

What does it mean to be a woman?

Is woman a construct to fit with a dumbing down phenomena of ‘keeping it simple;' where notions of duality and rigidity exist designed to teach us, for instance; good-bad, right-wrong, right-left, positive-negative, black-white, fat-thin, in-out, up-down, girl-boy, woman-man, feminine-masculine....?
etcetera-etcetera-etcetera!!??

What does it mean to be a woman?

One could argue a point of departure for becoming a woman, is to grow up as a girl.
What does it mean to grow up as a girl?

What does it mean to be a girl?

l a c u n a

Squares of Caledonia